life as prototype of dreams

my brother hid
with his friend
behind

(i imagine now
his hair
being threaded by cobwebs older
than we)

the broken red snow sled
its cylinders gasping for fresh benzene
now for years we hadn’t known ourselves

behind noises that belonged
between the trees
in the woods
across the road

behind the lesson
that there is no discovery
if there is no fear

this prototype became realized.
he fixed
those iron lungs, and
i went looking
for the noises that belonged
between the trees
in the woods
across the road

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pendulum

hearing tic tacs
and
crumpling shots
of
magnesium

was enough to know my
ego,
left beside my shoes,
was
more useful than not

i am not sane if i
hear
one word from that
lilly
white yet perfect place

though we pretend to be

like the way the bear rolls from his sleep
onto the gentle snowed in morning,

i saw him struggle against cramps
yawning taut

wound tight from a mother who
never sleeps herself

and in consideration of such a rare glimpse
he sensed me too,

we fall and roll into and out
from each other.

waking up from our instincts.
seeing we are not gods.

 

Aristophanes’ Law

on a whiteboard:
time is flexible with space. as speeds change, the fabric of spacetime reflects its own vulnerability. its impermanence. if the solidity of space and time is not to be assumed, then what is?

yes, and:
riddling. each moment in your eyes carries reflections of my sodded memories, aching up from the grave. you kill them all.

.
..

you have the pieces i left behind, tore out and given to a god who spread them across the continents.

its just a myth, lodged in our memory. but we are the shadows of each other.

we are bound in the contrast that sings only when the differential is perfect, and it sings.

forever now.

anyways

clouds roll slow
over snowed in white roads and
half shoveled walkways

my eyes imagine
wraiths between the falling flakes,
certain blank spaces

skaters go anyways
round in oblong circles holding
hands of people close

the sun stays slow over
rows of lined up conifers
holding back the baltic fog

i realize i’ve never fallen in love

i’ve been wrapped up in it
ever since my skin was first knit

from a morning i woke up and lost my voice

i hear new things from the morning pine boughs:

be gentle, be still, be ever green/

i hear new things from the white and open lake:

be empty, be form,
be a song when you ache for more/

i’m trying, dear mother,
to let the soft animal love as he does

but my morning body wakes
from contorting and bothered aches

so today, i try, and
i hear new things from the bleating dusty streets:

just go/ just go/ just go/

he is metaphor, he is not metaphor

there are ways to disappoint your lover
and i have listed them in other poems,
poems about misery and trees and a
billion beautiful things, especially him

like holding the dream in a frame of your mind
and holding twelve limp doves instead,
blood trickling down their variegated feathers in
pathways
pathways
pathways

to holding your breath that one day they will
find the pathway to a gapless,
read: pure,
reality:
no such things as dreams or needing
to dream.

he would never disappoint me anyways
being that he is who he is.
being that being he is who he is,
one person is only themselves, never in error.

disappointment is not the night
but the shade cast from the chest

for i do not know
what is written on my heart
or what it is capable of